I didn’t have my biological father around as I was growing up. It was his choice though, but I did spend a lot of time with my father’s side of the family. I was born in Indianapolis IN. I am the oldest of his 11 children and lived in another state but would come for any and all holidays and any days that I had no school. My mom would hop on the Greyhound bus in a heartbeat and bring me home, but still, I didn’t see him when I was there. I was really close to my Grandmother. I did lose touch with her for about 5 years because we weren’t traveling back and forth much. Mom had 2 more kids to lug around and would be too expensive. She would still find a way to send me birthday cards.
I had my own room in her 2 bedroom house, which made a couple of my other cousins not like me I think. My mother’s mom lived a block and a half up and a half of block down from my father’s mother. Mom would take me to her to stay and she would stay at her mom’s house. This gave me time with MY people. My grandma did treat me just like the other kids, cousins not siblings, and they thought it was wrong, but only my take on it though.
The wake and the funeral service was scheduled, but only an older lady, that I didn’t know, sat in the back, and my family was there for those whole 2 hours of her wake. None of the Indiana family came to the wake. Huh? I’m confused! But I felt so privileged that I got to spend those last 2 hours with her with my family without any interruptions.
I never met my siblings on my sperm donors side until my grandmother passed away. I met 3 of them at her funeral. I went to the job of a sister right below me. She didn’t come to the funeral. She said that because she didn’t know grandma and has never met her, and she felt out of place. I went to meet her and bring her the obituary of grandma. When I gave her the obituary, she just cried. She is the identical twin to my grandma. She never knew her and realized it at that moment that she belonged to her.
My mom had her share of boyfriends. A couple were okay and a couple were just no good. My stepfather came into my life when I was 12 years old. He took care of me, my sister, and my brother. He knew how to make and keep my mom happy and smiling. He gave her diamonds not pearls. She had diamond cluster rings. Thousands of dollars he spent. Back them. that makes a girl feel appreciated. Nowadays, feeling appreciated is making sure my bills are paid and I have no stress. My baby brother was born 6 years later and nothing changed.
We were best friends from the beginning. He would take me to school and community parties in his old station wagon, full of supplies, with only just the drivers’ door working, lol. I would ask him to drop me off a block away so people didn’t see me getting out that vehicle, but he would pull up, right in front of whatever venue he was dropping me off at because he was proud of his old hoopty. I went everywhere with him. I was his sidekick. I learned that you can never give up on yourself. If you dream of something, make it come true.
He is still the hard working man that I met from the beginning. He taught me that hard work pays off. He worked hard every day of the week. I really thought everybody gets 2 days off per week, but not when you are your own boss and have your own business, you have no days off. He never stopped marketing himself or his service he could provide. He painted mansion on the lakefront and he would pay my mom to be his helper. Keep it in the family, another thing I learned.
My first 3 children suffered the same fate. They got their stepfather when my oldest was also 12. He took care of them just as my dad did us. Oh, not to mention, we too had a child together shortly after. He too taught my children the same values as my dad. Wow, I guess girls do marry men that are like their dad. Luckily, my dad was one of those who made and kept my mom happy, provided for his family, and was always there when we needed him.
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Growing up with hardly nothing makes me strive to make sure my children do have something. I work hard and have things to show for my hard work. When my kids need something, even if it is not a necessity, I try to make sure I can get it for them. They don’t ask for much, so why not give them what the want.
