Love Sick

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It’s bad when you love someone so much that when they leave you, to go to work or something, you hug them just to carry their scent for as long as it lasts. It’s bad when you go through the day and have to hear their voice to make it half way though. It’s bad when you need to be touched. Why is love so emotional?

I was so down and out, not knowing what to do, how to feel, sad, crying, angry at the world because we weren’t talking. I look outside at the cars driving by and get extremely sad because life is moving on and I feel stuck in this rut. I am a very strong minded person, but somehow I just realized I need him.

I took all my pictures down of us. Why, because I was smiling and happy in them. Well, I don’t feel that right now. I can’t look at them. Every time someone touches me, I cry. Why, because it’s not him. I have lost 6 pounds. I haven’t eaten in 4 days. My blood pressure is probably in the clouds. I may have a heart attack. I guess that is what comes with a hurting heart. It just shuts down on you.

Why

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I feel that I have lost my best friend. This weekend, he went to hang out with a coworker, which I was fine with. But come 1 am, I called him and he did not answer. Why? He did not answer for a whole hour. Why? When he finally did answer, as he was on his way home, I asked him why he wasn’t answering and he tells me he doesn’t know. Why? That really hurt and pissed me off! We haven’t talked since. I haven’t looked at him, touched him, or talked to him. I don’t feel it’s my job to fix this situation. He got me wondering why? What were you doing? Real fishy! I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I stop crying. It is hard to be at work. Hard to be at home. I cry and cry. Why? I am so mad that I could really hurt him, so I turn it into pain. Why?

For the Ones Who Are No Longer With Us

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Life is too short and tomorrow is never promised to you. If you don’t have life insurance, you better get that ASAP. Just think, how are you going to be buried? Oops, there’s no insurance, now you have to be cremated. Damn, no one wants to help pay for it. What now?

Now on the other hand, how can you let a love one go out without a decent burial? If you can go get your nails done, clubbing, or happy hour, why can’t you give that to them at least? Every little bit helps. It is not like they are asking you for anything, they need it!

What is family and friends for? Why do we have them? Priorities are not in order for many people, how can you live with yourself?

Consideration for others

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If you own an animal, keep in mind of all the hair that lingers. You should really use a lint roller to get it off you before going into the public. How do you even tell someone that they are the cause of you sneezing and having to take allergy pills everyday? I had to tell my boss that I was fed up with it. This is hard due to her owing a pet too. I just don’t understand…..

A Hump Day in August

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I really wanted to just keep walking, when I knew that the lady was 20 feet behind me. I hate having to hold the door for someone who walks so slow, but I hate when I feel I have to rush when others are holding the door for me because I will walk as slow as I flippin want to. Anyways, I pushed the handicap door button for her for both doors and bout time the elevator came, she was inside. I asked her how she like that door service. lol. She said she wondered if I did that on purpose and she loved it. she said it made her day. She smiled so big and felt so good. Hopefully the kindness will spread and she will do something for the next and that person for the next. Happy Hump Day!