My Turn

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When you work around food all day, some people eat all day but there are others that don’t. He does not eat at work like I would think he should. He calls me every day in the morning or mid-morning to ask what we are having for dinner. Sometime he puts in a request for a specific meal. Then he does not eat all day, just waiting until he gets home.

For 5 years now, he only cooks about once per month. He’s always at work, working 10-16 hours per day. I can’t expect him to cook after that. Why can’t I have dinner ready when he comes home?

He’s an executive chef so I can’t cook plain or regular meals. I have to be exotic and fancy. I have to be creative and experiment with different flavors and styles.

Last week, he cooked 4 of those days. OMG. He cooked for me! He called me and asked me what I wanted, how I wanted it, and even had it done when I got home. I have been working overtime lately and he took care of me for a change. I didn’t know what to do. I would come home, he’d take my bag, have my bath ready and a cold beer. He asked me to tell him when I was ready to eat and when I did, he made my plate. The other 3 days, he ordered out. I really enjoyed my break.

Just think, the week before, I went on strike and the next week got pampered. I wonder how often this will happen. What every 5 years? LOL…….

Not new, just tucked away

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I wow’d him last week. I broke out clothes, shoes, and purses that I have never worn before.  Every event or place we went to, I changed my outfit. I wore all colors too. Not just black, or white, or grey, my usual’s. I wore orange, red, green, pink, yes pink, both light pink and dark pink. This also included shoes with matching purses.

I caught him staring at me all day and night. If I walked away from him, I felt his gaze follow me. He was not paying much attention to the conversations he was having with his friends because he was occupied with what I was doing, where I was, and who I was talking to. I was not trying to make him jealous, but trying to show him that I still got it.

He told me multiple times that I looked good, was pretty, and complementing me on my ensembles and my perfumes. He was all touchy feely, kissing me if I came in his vicinity, tapping my butt, just so affectionate. It felt good to have him feel like someone else may want me besides him and that he needs to show so love to ensure that I felt as good as I truly did. What a great weekend!

A New Me

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I feel so different these days. I have opened my mind. I am willing to try and do new things. I am not hiding behind the curtain anymore. If you don’t like it, o’well. I can feel again. My sister once made a comment of how I needed to get my life back. I think I have, but not how she was referring to. She wants me to hang out with her, go to girls’ night, and clubs. Well girls night is just a big joke to me. Those girls are so ass tight and arrogant. They only want us to come around so we can show are hoodness. Show how black we are because they have no dam clue of what it is to be black. They didn’t go through any hard times. They had it all made for them. Not us. Owell, not going down that path. This is about me and my new self.

I discovered this weekend that I really like sex and a lot of it. I was in hibernation I guess. We use to have it a lot but then kids and work came between the fun. Well, not any longer. When I see him. It’s on. He so tired these days, LOL. I am a beast….

Okay Then

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I gave him 2 kids and it made my body double in weight. I am now a plus size woman. Have been for years now. I would wear clothes that would hide my body because I was embarrassed of it. Even in the bedroom.

I see that he looks at other women and I know I look better than them or can look just as good and it makes me feel bad. Well okay then, watch me put on sleek, revealing, and tight fitting clothes then.

I get stares from men an women with my over sized clothes so let’s see how the world will look at me know. I am shedding my insecurities and showing my strengths. My body is bomb for a plus size woman. I have a large butt, big breasts, long hair, and a beautiful face. Hmm, even women hit on me.

I threw out all the clothes that have holes in them, rump around stuff, and the too big one’s too. Now I walk around in clothes that make him see me for the first time. Ha, he probably want to put a GPS tracker or leash on this, but NOT. Now he gone wonder what’s up when he ain’t here. He can wonder am I at home, what am I doing, where did I go, or who is in my company. Even though I’m a homebody, I will intentionally get out in the world just because.

I got 6 new pair of heals that I bought last year. LOL, put a pair on Friday. He saw them and got all hot and bothered. LOL, I got more boo. I also started having uncontrollable sex. He thinks I need it all them time now. So when he is not here, he just may wonder if I am getting it from another source. No, I love my husband, but he needs to know that respect is the key to a long and health relationship. I would never cheat on him, but I don’t tell him that.

Now you know how I felt

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I announced that I was getting married to family and friends, eve the ones who are distant. My best friend, who I haven’t talked to in a few years, up jump and gets married. Keep in mind, I invited her to my wedding and to be in my wedding party. No response. She didn’t even invite me or tell me her good news. Her daughter, which is my God daughter, came to help me get ready. Helped me with my dress, shoes, and accessories. She even dropped of her 2 boys to mt reception. Was that a message?

I asked my cousin to be my maid of honor. She was so happy and honored. When it was time to make things, order dresses, do bridal stuff, no call and no show. For a few months actually. My other best friend came in town and I told her my frustrations. She offered to be my maid of honor even though she lives out of the state. Once again, when it was time to order dresses, no call and no show.

These are the only 3 women in my circle. They all turned their backs on me. I was hurt. Have not tried to replace them with another either, but they have replaced me. They all have new best or close friends now and we called each other sisters. It’s okay, I will finish this life with memories.

Well to get to the reason for this post, maid of honor #1 is getting married this week. She had things planned out and no one showed up to help her. I am trying to get my marriage fixed, as we went out on the town last night with friends, and told her if my husband does not go to work, I cannot help and she said she understood.

She vented to me me about all the other people that she had lined u to help her and they flaked on her. Should I feel bad? I don’t! It hurts when the shoe is on the other foot….

Once again, I will finish this life with memories of them.