Can’t have one w/o the rest

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imagesI have a coworker that has siblings from another marriage. She said that her mom was the first but her dad remarried 3 more times after. She said that in the Summer months, her mom would take her and her siblings to their dad’s house to his new wife without any problems. Her mom said, if she married him, she had to take his kids too. I thought that was just crazy. She said that as she was growing up and he remarried again, her mom and wife #2 took their kids and dropped them off to wife #3 and so on.

Many women don’t think like that. I know I sure didn’t. I didn’t want the new woman around my children. I thought she may hurt them on the slide or be mean to them. I didn’t want her teaching them anything, especially anything she was taught. She was not raised in the same kind of household or environment that I was raised in, so I thought she would show them more bad things in life. Sure enough, she showed the other kids of his how to lie, cheat, and steal. They are pretty good at it too, lol.

My children learned how to study, play sports, and cook and they are pretty good at that! Their siblings are street smart and my kids are book smart. Which is better? I believe now, that there are pros and cons to both ways.

Maybe if I would have let my kids go over their house, I would have gotten more naps, more freedom, or more errands done without toting kids around all the time. It is what it is. Iimages.jpg got things done and had fun with my kids doing it.

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3 Strikes

I hate to feel this way, but when I call somebody and they don’t answer the phone, I won’t call them back until the next week or so. If I call three people in a row, and they don’t answer the phone, I ain’t calling nobody else, until next week. Why do I feel this way? Is it me being a negative person? Or is it me realizing that I ain’t as important as I thought I was? But you know, they always call me when something’s wrong, for big sister stuff, for advice, or to hear THEIR drama.

24-48 hour rule

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It is a shame of all the bad things you can say when you are upset. You can be sad or mad and the same types of thoughts come to your mind. If you speak those thoughts out loud, you could possibly say something you really don’t mean and cannot take back. This is a time to hold back, walk away, and get out of the presence of others because it is truly hard to gain and keep your composure.

I was so mad and sad this weekend that I could have destroyed so much stuff, ruined my whole life, and would not have given 2 shits about it. I am thankful that I was able to remove myself and hold it together. I did have help though. GOD sent my daughter to my aide. I tried to be alone and she was on my heels the whole time. That kept me stable. It’s amazing how things happen. I had to smile and be positive as I could not make her feel my pain too. Thank you GOD, for her. I was truly on the path of destruction. I really scared my family.

The next day, I could tell things were different. I could see he was trying to make me feel better. I am so glad I was able to hold it together. By waiting the 24-48 hours, it really made a difference. It saved my world.

Privilege

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What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. It does not give you the right to take, use, or eat something that you didn’t buy.

I have a brother-in-law that eats whatever he wants in my fridge. Even though he doesn’t buy it. He feels that he can just eat it, use it, or take it and it’s okay. He says he will buy me another, BUT WAIT, you don’t have a dang job. Who said you have to take care of the family all their life. That is not in the rule books.

It really gets on my nerves. It makes me so mad. I want to destroy everything in my path, but I cant, lol. That would be too expensive. I could destroy everything in his room, oh, it’s all junk and dirty clothes. He waits on his momma to come and take his clothes to wash them and throw out his trash.

I make for sure that he has something to eat most days when I cook. I don’t cook for 4, I cook for 10 or 12, so he has a plate. When I shop for food, I buy meals, so it frustrates me when something I bought, for a purpose, gets eaten.

Moving forward, I will not look out for him anymore, because he doesn’t look out for me. If the trash is full, he won’t take it out. The only thing he does is mow the lawn, and that isn’t even a good job. That crappy job doesn’t pay your room and board fee, a light bill, or a decent meal. AND does not give him the right to use, take, or eat anything I buy!

Listen

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My first sperm donor was the one who made my gutt feeling start talking to me. In fact, it yelled at me sometimes, lol. I should have listened to my gutt feelings then and I would not have endured the mental and physical abuse that he put me through. 10 years and 2 more kids later, I finally heard what my gutt had been telling me for so long. I left and had not looked back. I only look forward these days.

It has been 16 years now of my new love and I think my gutt is talking to me. I choose to ignore it. I think it is my protector and when I feel mad or sad, it tries to remind me of an old occurrence of some sort. It is definitely not the same situation. I can honestly say, your guttfeelings can truly be confusing at times. You never know when to listen and when to ignore it.